Tuesday, January 24, 2012

School Daze

So here it is, folks: my view for the next few months. :)
I close the door in the office and study, study, study, write, write, write. I am really enjoying school! It's more challenging than I thought it would be, and I'm learning more than I thought I would learn, and all of that is super exciting. After reading in one textbook about the author's opinion of what makes a natural teacher (and how everyone else can become more like them), I think I've figured out that I am a natural teacher already ~ and it makes me so excited to learn as much as I can this semester and then begin my new career!!

Most of my schoolwork is done online. Basically, I'm writing three papers a week - one for each of three classes at the moment - and to prepare for each paper I've got lots of reading and pondering and working through ideas to do. Then after we write our papers we are to post them online where all the other students (and teachers, obviously) can access them... and then we write substantial peer responses for three other students' papers for each assignment -- equaling nine peer responses each week! It is mentally exhausting, but I'm getting into the swing of things, and my confidence is building. I can't imagine how others get through this who have full-time jobs and/or kids. It's almost a full-time job for me.

And how's my back? Much, much better!! I can move almost completely normally now. I can even put on my own socks and shoes! Although, two months later, I'm still not pain-free. I had x-rays done which indicated that I have a degenerative disc. Hmph. The orthopedist said it's not bad enough to get surgery, but she says I will never be completely without pain in my lower spine. Well, we'll see about that. I plan to fight that diagnosis with exercise (directed by my physical therapist) and supplements. And prayer, of course. :)

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Life Isn't a Checklist

Kallie and Leah left us last week. :( They went to live with friends in Pennsylvania, and Leah is going to take her prereqs this coming semester to prepare for nursing school. I am SUPER proud of her and the way she is taking such bold and smart steps for a better future for her and Kallie. She has a difficult road ahead of her, but she's boldly jumping into it knowing it will be tough. I'm so proud of her.

However... :( I badly miss my little Kallie girl. I watched her every time Leah worked and so I kinda really bonded with her in the four months they were here. She's my little pumpkin pie ~ a beautiful, happy baby girl who melted my heart every time I saw her sweet face. I got to watch her grow and change and develop up-close-and-personal, which is something I've never really experienced before. It was so fun! I miss Leah too, of course. She also was a source of joy for me ~ upbeat all the time, helpful, respectful, just a wonderful house guest. Leah and Kallie are two happy peas in a pod and I miss them!

Now with them gone, it makes me halfway wonder if I do want a child after all. But then I think - oh gosh, I hardly had the energy to keep up with Kallie part-time. How, at my age and with Jeff being his age, would I handle a child full-time? I'm not sure I'm up to it. But then I think - but wouldn't I be missing out on something if I don't have kids? Wouldn't I miss knowing what it's like to be a mommy, having that special bond with my own child?

But Mom had some good advice for me the other day: life isn't a checklist; instead, it's about living the unique life God gives to each of us. That thought is encouraging to me. God knows and has a plan. I shouldn't look to a checklist of the typical things a woman experiences in life and compare my life experiences to that. I should just be who I am, take what God gives, and be content with that - because He really does know what is best for me.

And besides, I'm truly looking forward to teaching middle schoolers... moving to a new home in Ashburn (hopefully this year?)... traveling during the summers with Jeff... having extra income to bless others who might be in need... all if the Lord wills it, of course. And if I never have kids, it will be okay. :)

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Christmas Day