Life Isn't a Checklist

Kallie and Leah left us last week. :( They went to live with friends in Pennsylvania, and Leah is going to take her prereqs this coming semester to prepare for nursing school. I am SUPER proud of her and the way she is taking such bold and smart steps for a better future for her and Kallie. She has a difficult road ahead of her, but she's boldly jumping into it knowing it will be tough. I'm so proud of her.

However... :( I badly miss my little Kallie girl. I watched her every time Leah worked and so I kinda really bonded with her in the four months they were here. She's my little pumpkin pie ~ a beautiful, happy baby girl who melted my heart every time I saw her sweet face. I got to watch her grow and change and develop up-close-and-personal, which is something I've never really experienced before. It was so fun! I miss Leah too, of course. She also was a source of joy for me ~ upbeat all the time, helpful, respectful, just a wonderful house guest. Leah and Kallie are two happy peas in a pod and I miss them!

Now with them gone, it makes me halfway wonder if I do want a child after all. But then I think - oh gosh, I hardly had the energy to keep up with Kallie part-time. How, at my age and with Jeff being his age, would I handle a child full-time? I'm not sure I'm up to it. But then I think - but wouldn't I be missing out on something if I don't have kids? Wouldn't I miss knowing what it's like to be a mommy, having that special bond with my own child?

But Mom had some good advice for me the other day: life isn't a checklist; instead, it's about living the unique life God gives to each of us. That thought is encouraging to me. God knows and has a plan. I shouldn't look to a checklist of the typical things a woman experiences in life and compare my life experiences to that. I should just be who I am, take what God gives, and be content with that - because He really does know what is best for me.

And besides, I'm truly looking forward to teaching middle schoolers... moving to a new home in Ashburn (hopefully this year?)... traveling during the summers with Jeff... having extra income to bless others who might be in need... all if the Lord wills it, of course. And if I never have kids, it will be okay. :)